Saying good bye is never easy . . .

I had been holding onto a secret for a friend since the end of November and couldn't talk about it until recently. 6 years and 2 months ago I moved to Florida with one of my friends from college. What an adventure it was! We packed up everything that fit into our cars and headed south. We lived together for a little over a year and a half and then went our separate ways. She moved in with her now husband and I moved in with a friend. A little over a year later, I moved in with my now hubby. We always kept in contact over email at work and we would try and get together when I would come up to Orlando.
We have been through a lot together . . . 4 years of college, moving to Florida, moving in with boyfriends, watching each other marry those boyfriends, and of course the most precious blessing of all, when she had her daughter this summer. What a beautiful little girl she is becoming and Saturday, I had to say good bye. In a little over a week they move back up North. I was devastated when she told me back in November but I couldn't say anything until everything was final. When I told hubby I cried, it felt like the end of our adventure. We have been through a lot together and always been there for each other during good times and bad. I will miss she and her family more than I can even comprehend right now. I know we will see each other and always stay in touch. Saying good bye to she and her family broke my heart this weekend. I did well and held back the tears as best I could but I let a few slip when I gave her daughter back to Grandma. I though I got away with no one seeing until we got to the car and hubby said I did well and it was going to be ok. He saw those few tears I tried to hide and comforted me as best he could. I wish my friend and her family all the luck and love in the world and can't wait to see them soon!

Growing Apart

Over the last year I have grown very distant with someone I thought I would be friends with until the day I die. I have come to realize that not only have we grown apart but that I believe our friendship is over. I never thought I would say it but it has happened and I have to move on. It saddens me to think that over the years we grow apart from our friends. I have been blessed in my life to have some amazing friends and I just want to say thanks to those that have always been there and I hope we will always be close.

Fallen Off . . . Catching Up

Okay so I said in the beginning that I was actually going to do this and I have been terrible about it. I find that when I get home from work, the last thing I really want to do is be on the computer, especially since I spend a majority of my "work life" on the computer or the blackberry they have given me to ensure I am always up to speed with what is going on. So here I am, day 3 back from vacation and I felt the urge to blog. My bosses are gone and my coworkers are 3 offices away. I am feeling very unmotivated (still not fully out of vacation mode), realizing I only have about an hour left in the day, I am going to catch up whom ever out there reads this, on the last few months of my life.

Well I said I was going to start a diet and try and reach my goal by Turkey Day, well with my crazy schedule and the oh so many excuses I can not count, I fell off the wagon quick. The holidays are around the corner but I am not giving up. I am slowly getting back on track and will allow myself all the yummy treats during the holidays, though I am not going to over indulge.

I just got back from a week in Missouri on a 25 acre alpaca farm. Hubby went hunting with his business partner and I relaxed and read. I finally finished (though years later) the 6th instalment of the Harry Potter Series. I started the 7th and final book Wednesday and am already about a 3rd of the way through it. I will be so sad when it is over.

My Mom's youngest sister is very ill. She is currently in the ICU and fighting. The Doctor's feel that she only has maybe 2 weeks left. It is so sad, she has been sick for a long time now but recently it has gotten so much worse. I am not close with her at all, she and my Uncle kept to themselves a lot and I never had much of a relationship with them. My Mom and her older sister will be going to see her this weekend most likely, to spend time with her and possible say their farewells. I am crossing my fingers that she will be okay, but it is not looking good.

Still looking into Grad School, just not sure where or in what. Unfortunately my choices are limited in this area unless I do a completely online program.

I am sure there is much more but I just had to take a call and lost my steam. More to come soon . . . I hope.

By the way . . .

I have found blogging to be a great way to vent. But I promise that my next post will not be venting! Stay tuned . . . well if you want ;-)

Drama

So I need to vent . . . I have a person in my life (lets not put a label on them) that makes me feel like I am back in high school sometimes. Will will go through phases where we talk everyday and then we don't talk for a couple of weeks. When we haven't talk in a while, I usually get a call basically saying I never keep in touch. Except sometimes I do call (sometimes I leave a message, sometimes I don't) and they don't call back, then they say "i didn't have a missed call", basically implying that I lied about calling in the first place. Wait, why is it okay for them not to call but I am a bad person for not calling them? Seriously, I don't have to talk to anyone (except hubby) everyday of my life and I shouldn't have to make excuses as to why I did or did not call! Last I checked I am almost 30 years old, never liked drama, being petty and playing games. I know I am not the "best" at keeping in touch. I hate that it is that way. I know that everyone is busy and it is hard to catch people at a "good time". A lot of my friends have babies or are in school. Evenings don't work a lot of the time. I have been trying to talk to one friend for a week. Finally we decided we needed to call in the morning on the way to work! It isn't laziness or not wanting to talk, it is truly finding the time. I do not know one of my friends that is not crazy busy with something. I wish it were not like that but it is. The only thing that makes this crummy situation okay is that when I finally get in touch with one of my closest friends (or they get me) it is like we talked yesterday for the most part. Just like when I go home for vacation and see my friends, it is like we were just together yesterday once we start catching up. I live over a thousand miles away from most of my family and friends, i don't have the luxury of seeing them all the time so it is very rewarding knowing that I have such awesome friends that can pick up right where we left off.
Needless to say this blog is kind of all over the place. When I first started typing I was so upset but just thinking about the people that don't frustrate me like this person has calmed me down. Those friends know who they are too, I miss you all!

Hurricanes vs. Nor'easters

Here we are again, the peak of Hurricane season. During the months of August and September, Hubby and I find ourselves constantly checking the Tropical Update at ten to the hour. Last week I had the fortune of my office being closed both Tuesday and Wednesday because of all the water Tropical Storm Fay dumped on us. The intersection my office is at was completely under water!
Well instead of enjoying Labor Day weekend like most, we will be preparing for yet another storm.
First, there is Gustav. Not really a threat for us here on the east coast of Florida, well as far as the storm itself goes. Our concern, gas prices! If Gustav continues on its current projected track, it is most likely going to hit the oil rigs in the gulf and you know what that means . . . in a matter of weeks we will be paying $6 a gallon for gas, not $3.69! (Side note, does anyone else remember paying 99 cents a gallon for gas?)
Second, Hannah. She is a Tropical Storm right now and still several days away from allowing us to have an "accurate" track of where she will hit. However, there are tracks that that have been released showing that she could hit the east coast of Florida next week. So what does this mean for Hubby and I this weekend? Buying lots of canned food and gas and pulling out the plywood that is used to cover the windows. Yay! Happy Labor Day for us!

Here is a shot of the Atlantic Tropical Cyclone Activity from the National Hurricane Center. Two more systems behind Hannah, could be a busy season!
I had the misfortune last November of flying into Logan during a Nor'easter. My brother and sister picked me up and we drove the hour and 15 minutes through wind and rain to the Cape. After we dropped off my Brother at his apartment we called Mom and said we were on our way and would be there in 15 minutes. Well Mom gave us the wonderful news that the power just went out and now we had to find a pizza place so we could eat! WHAT! It was freezing and I had been traveling all day. All I wanted was a hot shower, my P.J.'s and bed! My cell phone was dying and I had just enough power left to tell hubby my misfortune. Well with all that being said, the power was out for 24 hours and I slept on the coach that first night home because it was warmer in the living room than the guest room. Still no power in the morning so I was off to Dunkin Donuts for coffee and then shopping with Mom. Both of us crossing our fingers that the power would be back on when we returned, which it was! First thing I did was take a shower!
As you can see, neither situation is much fun. If I am Florida I fear that a tree will land on my roof. But if I were living back up North, who's to say it isn't going to snow so much that my roof will cave in? When I am hot I want to be cold and when I am cold I want to be hot, so no winner there either. At least in Florida when we have no power it is kind of like camping but with a generator!
So for all of my dear friends and family that think that hubby and I should move back up North to escape the hurricanes, you now see my conundrum!

Forever on a diet . . .

Maybe this will be motivational, blogging about my diet.
Weight is something I have struggled with my entire life. I hit rock bottom somewhere between the end of college and moving to Florida. I was heavier than I ever thought I could be. Well slowly over time I started to lose the weight, I think it was about 60 pounds but when I was that heavy I didn't want to know how much I weighed, so I stopped getting on the scale! Well, since I met my husband I gained back about 15 pounds of the weight I lost and have fluctuated 10 of those 15 pounds over the last year. Well back in January I saw the number climbing again (holiday food darn it) and decided to do something about it. So I started Weight Watchers on my own and lost 18 pounds! WOW, awesome, until I started a new job back in March and got off track. Well since March and have been on again off again until this week. Day 4 today of back on track (though I did have some wheat thins last night and I didn't count the points, bad, I know!) and I am feeling good and the energy is up. Hubby was sweet and went to the store for me yesterday because I have been so busy at work lately and the last place I want to go is the grocery story after work. He picked up my breakfast bars and lean pocks along with fruit and salad makings! So sweet ;-) So my first goal in 25 pounds and I want to reach that by Thanksgiving. I figure that is 13 weeks away and if I lose 2 pounds a week on average, I can do it.
Wish me luck and I will keep you posted . . .

Long week and it is only Wednesday . . .

This weekend hubby and I started the demolition of our boat . . . yes, demolition. We had to cut the floor out and pull out all of the foam because the floor was starting to get waves in it. #1 problem, old boat = problems. Unfortunately to get the boat that we want brand new costs more than a new car, so that is out of the question right now. So we spend around 4 hours Saturday cutting the floor and starting on the foam.
Around 4 one of hubbies surfing buddies calls and says he is heading up to the inlet to catch some waves . Well after all our hard work so far that day we figured why not, break time! So we hit the inlet for some surfing (hubby not me). While hubby hit the waves I sat with one of the guys wives on the beach and was eaten alive by noseeums (I have no idea how to spell that). When I say eaten alive, I mean it too. My feet and legs are covered in these little red marks and they itch like you would never believe. Today is a good day though, I was finally able to shave!
So Sunday we get back into our boat project. The day was so hot and sunny we could only work for about 15 minutes and then had to break for 15. But when we were finally done, we got all but a few little bits of foam out of the boat. I will post pictures so you can see what I am talking about. I have never been so tired in all my life! The combo of heat and hard work was just exhausting.
Well after all of this hard work we find out that in order to fix the floor it is going to be a 3-4 month project! NO, I have to be on the boat before that! I miss the water, what are we going to do? Well unfortunately there are only 2 options hubby says, fix it or buy a new hull! What! Buy a new hull, you have go to be kidding me. My heart rate is erratic at this point and all I can think is, I did all that work for nothing! Hubby does his best to calm me down and is hoping I don't cry, which I didn't. So after hours of conversation back and forth we decide to check out new hulls. We look at EBAY and Craigs list and find some contenders. I hate the idea of buying off EBAY sight unseen though, Craigs list is always a better bet I feel because we can look before spending. Unfortunately there are not any hulls on Craigs list that will work so we find one on EBAY. Hubby decides to call the auctioner and see what he can find out. Well it turns out that the hull is in great shape for the year it is and has a trailer that has never seen salt water (this is a GREAT thing!). Unfortunately the hull is in storage and we will be unable to see it before the auction ends. So now what do we do? Well for those of you that know hubby, he is a Mr. Fix It, there is nothing he can not do, it is truly amazing! So we decide we are going to take the chance, I know, I know, scary huh? Auction ends at 5 pm and we are crossing our fingers. So needless to say, my nerves are shot. I am exhausted both physically and mentally and yet again we are taking a chance on EBAY. So far, everything has always worked out though. At least we know what it is going for right now and can always turn around and resell it, that is one of the benefits of living on the coast, someone is always looking to get on the water!
Wish us luck . . .

Reflecting . . .

So I have been doing a lot of "reflecting" lately, thinking of the good, the bad and the ugly!

The Good . . . I have the most amazing husband and am blessed to have found him. He puts a smile on my face everyday. My family and friends, though most are much too far away. I miss them all everyday. I am healthy and have a roof over my head.

The Bad . . . I do not regret moving to Florida, not at all! It just sucks being so far away from my family and friends. My Mom was very sick last summer and I was only able to come home twice and only for a week, she needed me and I was too far away. I missed some of my friends weddings, the birth of friends first born, the changing of the seasons, Homecoming, Red Sox games, summers on the Cape, Christmas parties, New Years parties, Memorial Day & Labor Day BBQ's and so much more. I hear about all of the things I have missed since moving and hate that I am missing it all.

Yes, the ugly . . . I pulled out my old journals a few weeks ago. I read them from front to back, both collage and my first few years in Florida. I learned a lot about myself that I truly do not think I knew back then. I was not very proud of myself, I was depressed and I was jealous. I think reading those journals is what really opened my eyes to what I missed out on. Moving to Florida was a way to escape how I felt or so I thought, but I continued to have the same problems when I moved over a thousand miles away from my friends and family. It wasn't until I was in Florida for a year that things started to change. I was more confident and finally realized that I could do this and I did!

Today . . . I am much happier person than 10 years ago because I finally realized that nothing is perfect and things change. I have the love of my life by side, a good job, and family and friends that mean the world to me.

So with all being said, and so much more to come, I started this blog to share with people who I am and where I am going. I hope you enjoy . . .